Some Fracturing

I’d not been sleeping when
Our hearts collided in that space
But hadn’t known, either, how bent
The wreckage; it seemed wonderful.
It was wrong.
You’ve gone now,
And taken with my heart, all three
That ever mattered; and with my purpose too,
And leave me none to go on
None I care to live for, not like this.
They all will say ‘we love you, stay.’
They all will say ‘you must.’
For why and how I cannot know,
And must I care? It’s pressure, all;
And all for whom – you love another
And so does he though I call him son.
Who all may suffer might suffer less
With some finality to this endless mess
Too many share because I bear it
When I could cast it off.
And God,
If He is Who He says He is,
Would understand. And if He didn’t,
Then He never was, and nothing lost
For having given up and gone.
Is it selfish to desire love?
Is it selfish to prefer not present hell
That future Hell can only lightly taste of?
They can say all, it won’t matter.
You, YOU tell me why I’m here.
And why not to go.
And I do mean go.
We were one, you and I;
But you are now, and I am none.


About A. S. Ellis

I am always learning. Always. And that is as it should be.
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2 Responses to Some Fracturing

  1. Theresa says:

    Our participation in Being increases as we choose the good.

    Evil is a privation of good.

    When we choose the latter, we participate less in Being, and therefore ARE, in fact, less.

    So say the Ancients.

    And I say, they’re right!

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