On Having Been Had, and Having


My judgement was never clear.
But oh was it murkier then;
Waded thick, stagnant pool: regret
Of long ago, and yesterday, perhaps tomorrow yet.

Fear furthest from vague,
Bristled wide and whole, hot Brillo
Pulsing outward on these ventricles
Grated firm muscle into wilted willow –

Wavered all within me;
Curved the spine in all directions
As a dead serpent will, at another’s will,
Contort without correction.

Who scorned love’s strength,
Love’s wonton perseverance,
Unwound her maelstrom conflict upon my soul
-Tepid, tepid soul that interference

Felled, floundered, faltered –
Well-enough I did not love her.

Should we meet upon the cloud when time is done,
I cannot be placed above her.


About A. S. Ellis

I am always learning. Always. And that is as it should be.
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